This last weekend I finally did nothing. Absolutely nothing productive. I didn't really even leave the house, except to eat lunch. I was finding that every Sunday night, I was feeling overwhelmed and like I hadn't given myself any time to rest over the weekend.
Any job is stressful, but caregiving is particularly stressful. Not only do you have the physical stress of transferring, feeding, bathing, or dressing someone, but you also have the emotional stress.
Listening to people tell you about their pain, their family, and their life takes a lot out of you. If you don't take time to love yourself, then there will be nothing left of yourself.
So what did I do this weekend? Well there was some thought that went into nothing.
I pursued a favorite hobby of mine, which is sewing. I caught up on movies and TV shows which gave me something to think about other than my clients. I consumed good food and beverages, which I never have enough time to do during the week. I reconnected with my family and husband.
The bottom line is I did things that I wanted to do. The result was a renewed person who has passion for life. Now I have new things to talk about with people since I took time to watch new movies. I have funny stories to tell about my family who I spent time with. I have something creative to show for with my sewing. The end result is better self esteem.
Any caregiver will tell you they are exhausted, but is the good caregivers who will tell you they had a great weekend.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Relationships
As a caregiver, developing and maintaining healthy relationships has to be one of the most important tasks we have. I myself have learned a few things that I don't want to forget and may have learned the hard way too.
Communication
What I realized recently is that my communication to the client is just as equally important as them telling me what their needs are. I need to communicate what I think it is they want or else I won't get it.
I tend to try to do things on my own thinking in my head, yes this is what they want, and nearly 100% of the time I am dead wrong. So I have to go back and fix it to make it what they want. This whole debacle could have been avoided had I practiced responsively listening. Simple, but a time saver!
Listening
While communication entails listening to a client, I am talking about the art of really listening. I may be the closest to them on a daily basis. This means I am safe. For a while I thought I was getting taught a lesson when I had to listen to tough stories. Someone had to tell me though that because I am close, I am safe to tell things to.
Something awesome I learned is that I don't have to say a thing when I am listening. In fact it is better if I don't try and fix problems, come up with solutions, or pretend I am a counselor. I wouldn't want that responsibility anyways. Feelings come out through the voice and often times it is pain. Just be their springboard for their pain and struggles, that is all I have to remember.
Getting Attached
Okay, this is my last rant about relationships, but it is the most important. I have had a client die on me and it was devastating. I put my heart in my job and I often fear I will lose one of my clients. Especially when I feel I have gotten close to them. You can't not be a caregiver and a robot, it just isn't possible. The solution? Treat them like you would a friend or family member, pray for their health, protect them as best as you can, and know God is in control, not you. Remembering that God is in control will help you keep boundaries, because you won't feel responsible for everything in their lives as well.
Being a caregiver is knowing when to repeat a client's words for clarification and when to just listen and then when to let go. Nothing is more rewarding when you have a great relationship though so happy care giving!
Communication
What I realized recently is that my communication to the client is just as equally important as them telling me what their needs are. I need to communicate what I think it is they want or else I won't get it.
I tend to try to do things on my own thinking in my head, yes this is what they want, and nearly 100% of the time I am dead wrong. So I have to go back and fix it to make it what they want. This whole debacle could have been avoided had I practiced responsively listening. Simple, but a time saver!
Listening
While communication entails listening to a client, I am talking about the art of really listening. I may be the closest to them on a daily basis. This means I am safe. For a while I thought I was getting taught a lesson when I had to listen to tough stories. Someone had to tell me though that because I am close, I am safe to tell things to.
Something awesome I learned is that I don't have to say a thing when I am listening. In fact it is better if I don't try and fix problems, come up with solutions, or pretend I am a counselor. I wouldn't want that responsibility anyways. Feelings come out through the voice and often times it is pain. Just be their springboard for their pain and struggles, that is all I have to remember.
Getting Attached
Okay, this is my last rant about relationships, but it is the most important. I have had a client die on me and it was devastating. I put my heart in my job and I often fear I will lose one of my clients. Especially when I feel I have gotten close to them. You can't not be a caregiver and a robot, it just isn't possible. The solution? Treat them like you would a friend or family member, pray for their health, protect them as best as you can, and know God is in control, not you. Remembering that God is in control will help you keep boundaries, because you won't feel responsible for everything in their lives as well.
Being a caregiver is knowing when to repeat a client's words for clarification and when to just listen and then when to let go. Nothing is more rewarding when you have a great relationship though so happy care giving!
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